Only Time
by AstarteSariel
Summary: Yet another Erestor/Glorfindel story.


A/N: Few words – this is what happens when you are freaking out 'cause school starts, you are feeling like yeti in summer, and you are bored to death. This will probably be in two or three parts and I am only posting the first part as an experiment. If it's not worth it, I won't post the rest of it though I am totally determined to finish it. Also, it is m/m pairing (Glorfindel / Erestor, I know a lot has been written on these two but they are my favourite so…). **This means, if you don't like m/m pairings, don't read**! Anything else? Oh yes, I usually think of my own headings for the works I write but I decided this one will be an exception, so the title is of one of Enya's songs - Only time. Listen to it, it's a wonderful song. I honestly have no idea why I am wasting my time in rambling when I don't think this will be read. Anyway, if you do, please leave a review! Just so I would find out my mistakes, and you know, things like that...

Disclaimer: Middle Earth and characters you recognize do NOT belong to me. They belong to Tolkien!

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_Only Time_

**First Part**

Lord Glorfindel made his way through the halls of the Last Homely House to the office of Lord Erestor. The blond wasn't quite in the mood of another verbal fight with the Chief Counselor, or actually, nor with Lord Elrond. The fact he was annoyed from his distraction (because losing a fight from a trainee _was _a distraction) wasn't helping either.

The door near the entrance of the hall leading to the library, was actually the door to Erestor's office and was soon to be blown away by something shining and angry. Glorfindel managed to get to the office without accidentally murdering an elf or two, and when the door was in fact opened (not blown away),the blond lord could see inside both the advisor Erestor and lord Elrond.

"Mae govannen, Glorfindel. We were just discussing what else needs to be done for our warriors," greeted Erestor, not paying any attention to Glorfindel's mood while observing a map sprawled on his desk. Elrond, on the other hand, held his gaze upon the warrior with a mere curiosity. Glorfindel, who could rarely be seen in a foul mood even if there was a cause for one, now stood before them, annoyance flashing in his eyes with no obvious cause.

The Balrog Slayer met his lord's eyes and suddenly felt the urge to hit something. He knew he wouldn't be able to hide himself from the stare of lord Elrond but still – he had his hopes. He wished he could vanish right there and then and Erestor was not making things easier.

The advisor felt the tension in the air around him and lifted his eyes towards Glorfindel. The Seneschal was still standing at the door, throwing flames at the two dark-haired elves. Erestor lifted an eyebrow and mentally sighed. He hated when the warrior was in no good mood because usually the blond one held the counselor responsible – whether because Erestor had frowned and thus ruined the beautiful warm day, or because he had interrupted one especially funny story about Glorfindel and the twins by shouting at the reborn one for not doing his paper work correctly or not doing it at all, and other ridiculous cases resembling these. The advisor would have understood if Glorfindel was acting like this all the time but why, for example, was he always cheerful and smiling, and joking when talking to others? Once, he even managed to make Elladan laugh which was more than a difficult job, it was barely possible when the twin wasn't in the mood.

So now Glorfindel stood in front of them, clothes – dirty, hair – tangled, and expression – a cloudy mixture of feelings.

"What has happened, my friend?" asked Elrond in a what-now kind of voice. Glorfindel huffed and made his way to one of the soft chairs near the desk where he placed himself not that gracefully.

"I just don't see the point in attending those discussions, my lord," he said though it was hard even for him to believe his words.

"Glorfindel, you know we are discussing the well-being of your men. You should play a part in it, especially that you know best what they feel, and need…" started Erestor but was interrupted by the blond:

"They feel exhausted and they need their families. They need their warm bed and loving wives. They need their children's laughter and the taste of a well cooked lunch. They want these sudden patrols and sleepless nights spend in watches to come to an end. Can you blame them?" Glorfindel frowned at the two elves in front of him. Elrond nodded.

"I think lord Glorfindel is right," he said. "I think we should divide the warriors in few separate patrols. Each patrol has its… work-time."

"This is a good idea," Glorfindel said calmly and they both looked at Erestor. The advisor nodded in agreement.

"It is settled then." He leant forward at the desk taking the quill, his ebony hair brushing against the dark surface of the furniture, his hand writing gracefully at the peace of parchment. His skin was so delicate, shining like an untouched pure snow under the loving sun. And it made such a contrast with his hair and eyes, yet it was not an unpleasant contrast. You could stare for hours at him like he was one of the finest art you have ever seen.

"You are free, lord Glorfindel. The other discussions are far more… boring for you," said Erestor after finishing what he was writing. Glorfindel could smell the slight tease in the other's voice like he could smell the scent of the flowers in spring.

"Yes, my friend, you are free for today. Go and get some rest…" joined in Elrond, his voice serious to the last syllable and tone unlike his advisor. The two dark-haired elves started debating over something Glorfindel missed to hear. He hesitated whether to leave, out of a pure stubbornness, he wanted to show Erestor he actually liked discussing matters concerning Imladris. But then his body screamed its' objections and the blond soon found himself walking back the halls to his chambers.

#o#

Erestor expected to see the blond warrior at dinner but he didn't show up. Elrond presumed he was overly tired with the disorder of the patrols. The thing is, Imladris had never before been in such a close threat thus patrols and night-watches had been given to whoever was the closest. This usually included Glorfindel. The last patrol, for example, had taken a week and something, with a little more than not enough preparations. Glorfindel had no time in resting for he had to attend the trainings back home.

"I can stop by his chambers and bring him food and drink. My chambers are next to his anyway. It wouldn't be a problem," suggested Erestor to the dining Elrond. The lord of Imladris smiled thankfully and said:

"I would very much appreciate that."

#o#

As soon as Glorfindel had found himself in his rooms, he immediately headed for the bathroom. After taking a long and relaxing bath, he snuggled among the white sheets of his bed and lost himself in dreams.

When the golden warrior woke up, the first thing to see was a whole waterfall of falling dark locks. Just like Erestor's. Glorfindel blinked several times but the locks were still there. He blinked one last time and the image of the advisor setting a plate of food and drink on the table near the bed, filled the blond's mind. He immediately sat up on the bed and looked at the startled eyes of Erestor.

"You have to excuse me, my friend. I had no intentions in waking you up. You just missed dinner and I suggested bringing you some food," started to explain the dark-haired. Glorfindel only smiled and yawned, stretching his stiffened muscles.

"Do not worry, advisor," said in a friendly voice the host. "Will you join me? I do not believe I could finish that plate alone. It is pretty big…"

"I might do so. I haven't had much of a dinner this evening," smiled Erestor.

"Good…"

The two of them moved the plate with food and drink to the living-room, in front of the fireplace. It was autumn, and autumn nights in Imladris could be cold enough. The first few minutes went in silence, eating and drinking but then Glorfindel got tired of staring everywhere else but Erestor, and said:

"You know what? I cannot comprehend one thing – why do you always confront me at the councils and in front of others, but when we are left alone, it is almost like you enjoy my company?" Glorfindel really meant what he had said. The question in his eyes could not be passed as something else and it seemed he really wanted an honest answer. Erestor though looked startled.

"If I have ever confronted you, it had been unintentionally. I have never wanted to leave such an impression in you." The dark brows were so high up that it almost made Glorfindel laugh. "And yes, I do indeed enjoy your company. 'Tis…refreshing." This time Glorfindel laughed.

"Refreshing?" The blue eyes lit up from the fire of entertainment that touched even the emotionless dark eyes of the councilor. "Honestly, they have called my company from entertaining to a total disaster but refreshing?" Glorfindel continued laughing under the shining stare of lord Erestor.

"Next time, I will make sure my answer is far shorter," said calmly Erestor which silenced the blond though he couldn't back off the small smile.

"Oh please, my friend, do not get upset. I didn't want to insult you in any way."

"I know, Fin," smiled Erestor and leant forward to the table to pour himself a glass of wine. His hair flew freely once again much like it did earlier in his office. Capturing the faint glow of the flames in the fireplace, it had captured something else as well – Glorfindel's heart.

So beautiful was he – cold in the eyes of those who knew him not, the best tutor who Elrond's children could have had, the best friend Glorfindel could have had. Even those outbursts of anger between them were caused by love and affection not hate and disrespect. Yet no one in Imladris has ever seen a male loving another male in a way like a husband would love his wife, and novelties were hard to accept among elves. Besides, how was Glorfindel sure that Erestor would return the feelings? The blond was certain a day would come, in which the warrior could hide his feelings no more, and yet… Did he have the strength and courage to risk losing not only his love but also a dearest friend?

"Glorfindel? Fin? Are you here?" asked a suspicious Erestor. "You looked distracted."

"I was," said Glorfindel and, deciding to forestall the next question, added: "By you." Erestor raised an eyebrow like he always did in cases of confusion and annoyance.

"By me?" he asked. Glorfindel smiled and leant slightly forward.

"Yes, by you."

"And what have I done to distract you so?"

"Not you. Your perfection," answered seriously Fin. Erestor looked stunned for a moment before dropping his gaze to the glass of wine in his hand.

"My perfection…" murmured the advisor.

"Please, Res, don't make this harder," pleaded the blond. "Just let me say what I have to say and I promise I will leave you alone. I just can bare no more being distracted every day, every night, and every breath I take. Will you allow me to explain?" Erestor looked at the warm blue eyes of the warrior in front. Glory in flesh and blood. That was what Glorfindel was. From the long golden locks to the beautiful face, shining with the light of the grace of the Valars. From the strong yet gentle hands to swift slim legs. And from the smile, that same smile that brought the best out of you… Erestor loved the smile most. And the eyes. The smile and the eyes made the advisor look with a newfound fascination and love of everything surrounding him…And here the golden warrior was, wanting desperately to tell him, the mere chief advisor of lord Elrond, something of a great importance to the blond.

So Erestor did the only thing he could consider best in that moment. He nodded slowly in agreement. Glorfindel seemed to find some kind of a reassurance in Erestor's reaction. Though, he would find reassurance in Erestor's every reaction that was different from yelling or storming out of the room. Glorfindel slowly took a breath and said:

"I think I will start from the beginning – when we first met. Do you remember? I had been just reborn, tired and yet content for I had once again seen the places many of our people have not yet seen. My first impression of you? A good advisor… no, perfect advisor. An honest friend, strong hand in the tutorship of the twins, and later – Arwen, and the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. You know I have always been closer with Elladan, and Elrohir trusted you most. Remember when we went one day in Lothlorien? When you found it really disturbing we were so far from home? And when I hugged you and told you home is where your heart is? I don't think you heard me. But it didn't matter for it was then I realized how much I was depending on you. You were like a part of my body – so used was I with your presence, I found it almost funny being away from you for too long…" A lonely tear strolled down from an eye which told everything of its owner. "Do you remember when lady Haithinwen used to seek your advise? The way she looked at you? And the way I was acting with you when she was around? The desperate tries to gain your attention? I think it was then that I realized how I could not lose you. That you are my air, my arms and legs, and mind, and everything… I was reborn to help lord Elrond and yet, it was like the only purpose I was here was being next to you. So what I am trying to make you understand is that I do not want to lose your trust even if you give me the answer I am dreading to hear. Please, what I say now would have no meaning if you don't want it to. I love you."

A long silence. That was what left to hang in the warm air around them. A long silence after the long speech. The lonely tear that had escaped from Erestor's eye had been left untouched on the white delicate skin. Erestor himself was trying to ease the pressing on his throat. Glorfindel had nothing more to say and do except sit still on his seat and hope. Erestor got up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes like a liquid pain, and walked near Glorfindel. He leant forward, his hair gracefully falling forward from the move, and his full lips locked with Glorfindel's in a chaste kiss that lasted shortly. Erestor straightened himself, few other tears running down his face following their sister, and managed to convince his voice in making one last sentence before he left the blond alone:

"I am sincerely sorry."

Glorfindel watched as the dark-haired swiftly left the room. He couldn't move, dazed not only from the kiss but from the sentence that followed as well. So he didn't move. He didn't move even when Anor greeted the fallen autumn leaves.

#o#

Spring was indeed a fascinating time of the year. All those flowers, and strawberries, and green, and smell of a new life…They were so enchanting and intoxicating. Young love would be what birds would sing of and Anor's smiles warmed the fresh faces of the newborn leaves. Every single elf enjoyed the spring. Well, almost…

A few years had passed after that night. Glorfindel found it hard looking at Erestor at first but after time passed, it became much easier. Erestor tried to act as normal but the words of Glorfindel sang in his ears like the birds outside sang to the young elves. Slowly and painfully, things went back to normal.

Erestor walked around his living-room dressed only with his night robes, with a book in his left hand and a glass of wine in his right. The candles, enlightening the darkness of the night, threw soft warmness at the advisor but he paid them no attention. The book had Erestor's mind fully and even the glass of wine was almost untouched. Erestor continued pacing through the room. That was until there was a light knock on the door.

The Chief Councilor slowly lifted his eyes from the book and headed for the door, wondering who would be brave enough to disturb him at that late hour. The only one Erestor could think of was a certain Gondolin warrior. And he wasn't wrong.

"Hey, Res," said Glorfindel. "I hope I didn't wake you up. I just found a bottle of a very old Dorwinion and was wondering whether you want to share it…" The blond shook his right hand in which he held a bottle of wine. The left was busy with a bowl of strawberries. Erestor hesitated for a moment. "Don't worry, I won't do anything inappropriate," added Glorfindel with a frown and the dark-haired moved to make way for the blond to enter. Closing the door after him, Erestor watched his friend's reaction at the sight of the Chief Councilor's chambers.

"By the Valar, Erestor, your chambers are twice as mine…" breathed Glorfindel as he looked around. Erestor chuckled.

"I've been here for longer than you, my friend, and besides, I need more space for my books."

"Obviously," answered the warrior.

The room was spacious. A lot of books had found their places here and there, the curtains fell to the floor, carpets covered the cold stone beneath, the doors to the terrace were left open which allowed fresh air… The room showed what Erestor was really like, not hiding anything for its owner, and it made sense why Erestor hated so much when someone entered his chambers with no invitation. He hated revealing exactly what kind of an elf he was.

"Sit yourself," Erestor broke the silence, sitting at the sofa near one of the doors to the terrace. Candles lit up the space around the two elves as Glorfindel sat near the dark-haired. Two glasses were soon filled with the Dorwinion wine and the strawberries laid forgotten on the table for a moment until Glorfindel's sight fell on them and they were doomed to be eaten by the blond's next words.

"Eat, my friend. These are the finest strawberries you can ever imagine," smiled Fin. "I personally borrowed them from the cook…" Erestor lifted an eyebrow.

"Borrowed them?"

"Oh don't look at me like that," murmured Glorfindel with a grin on his face. "After all, I am the one sacrificing myself each day for the sake of Imladris. It wouldn't be a problem…"

"Anyway, dear friend, I do not enjoy strawberries," interrupted him the Chief Councilor and took a sip of the wine.

"Don't be foolish, love, I am certain you love strawberries," laughed Fin, not realizing fully what he had said. Obviously, Erestor didn't either for he only said:

"Foolish? So if one does not have your tastes, he is foolish?" the advisor raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, he is," nodded Fin, a wicked gleam in his eyes as he took one strawberry and lifted it to Erestor's full lips. The advisor shook his head in attempt to show his dislike but Glorfindel didn't give up that easily.

"Come now, just this one. If you don't like it, I won't insist. But you have to be honest," he said to the chief councilor in a way a mother would speak to a child who didn't want to eat its breakfast. "I will find out if you lie." Erestor huffed and nodded, eating the strawberry right of Glorfindel's fingers. The warrior looked stiffened for a moment before returning back to normal and watching as Erestor slowly ate the fruit.

"I guess it's not that bad…" murmured the advisor. "But it evokes memories I have no wish in remembering." Glorfindel frowned.

"Memories?" Erestor nodded, looking everywhere else except the warrior. "You can trust me, my friend." The Chief Councilor looked rather skeptically at the blond next to him.

"It's nothing that important. Strawberries just remind me of my family. That's it," Erestor finished, taking unconsciously another fruit from the bowl. Glorfindel looked understandingly at his friend and quietly asked:

"What were they? Your family?" Erestor opened his mouth to answer, his eyes wandering but no sound came out. Glorfindel realized it was probably a bad idea asking and added: "I am sorry, my friend, I shouldn't have asked…"

"No, it is ok. I just… Their passing holds a great influence at me and… It is hard." Erestor lifted his eyes once again to meet Glorfindel's. Those unearthly eyes, so enchanting to the advisor… Why was Erestor resisting them when he could make things so much easier? Why wasn't he admitting what he truly felt? Because of others who wouldn't understand? They could be discreet, he and Glorfindel. It wasn't necessary for the others to know. Erestor leant forward once again, his ebony hair capturing Glorfindel's thoughts… Erestor touched the sweet lips of the warrior, afraid he would hurt him. But Glorfindel didn't move, didn't scream and back off. He was just waiting. Erestor's hands stroked the shining hair, his own lips moving closer to those of the other elf.

The chaste kiss was now becoming so much more passionate. Feelings passing, pure as the first snow yet shining with the denied want. Erestor, for a first time in his life, couldn't think but he needed not. He just let himself do whatever his heart told him.

The Chief Councilor broke quickly the kiss as his senses returned to him, leaving him and Glorfindel breathless. The blond was looking straight at Erestor's eyes. What now? Did this mean they would be lovers? Did it mean Erestor finally stopped being afraid of what he felt?

"Lord Glorfindel, I think it is time for you to go," said firmly the advisor as he stood up, successfully hiding every emotion.

"No," answered as firmly Glorfindel and got off the sofa too. His eyes were glowing with the same anger as they always did concerning Erestor. Not an anger of hate or disrespect but an anger caused by the stubbornness Erestor possessed. "No! It is time for you to stop hiding from yourself. You know well what others speak of you – that you are cold-hearted, incapable of loving, but I have seen you. The way you held the twins, and Arwen. The way you smile only for them. How you are able to give everything you have for the ones you love… Why are you so afraid of me? Have I not proven myself in your eyes? I have never touched another after I …"

"Oh please, Glorfindel, it is nothing like that. You know the way we feel is not right. It is not natural! What would lord Elrond say? What would our friends say? Can you bare their disgust if they find out?" Erestor cried out, desperately wanting the other to understand him.

"I don't care! Do I look like a care?" Glorfindel was frantically gesturing, everything he held patiently inside him, now bursting out. "I care for you." The blond stopped moving, panting slightly at the intense of his words. He took few steps closer to the Chief Councilor who was now standing still, his eyes shining. Glorfindel caressed one of the cheeks, sending shivers of pleasure and nervousness down Erestor's spine, and with a pained expression said pleadingly:

"If you love me, if you really do, we could be discreet. No one would know." Erestor just looked at the warrior, a tear escaping from a sobbing eye. Then he slowly nodded and wrapped his slender arms around Glorfindel's waist, his head resting on a strong shoulder.

"Stay with me tonight."

-Mae govannen - well met


End file.
